i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
