Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
