I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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