You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize