he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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