Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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