Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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