you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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