I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
