Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
