He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize