I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
