I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
