did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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