In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
the liver wants what the liver wants
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
