Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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