is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
