Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
