We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
