happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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