The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
