the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
