I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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