Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
