So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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