HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize