I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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