it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
