Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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