Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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