pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
