Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We're too hungover to prance.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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