Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
