Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
