Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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