everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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