yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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