I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
