shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize