Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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