so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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