I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
