I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize