Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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