well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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