Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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