2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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