i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
