Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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