I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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