so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
