Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
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What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize