im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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