Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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