you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
