If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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