where does the pee come out of this thing
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
