I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
