R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize