I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I need to sanitize my soul.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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