Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
