so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
