whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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