I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
