Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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