Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
