did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
