i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
