thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
