I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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